Friday, March 16, 2012

Archive of Jokes before Blog

February 15

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A Dino Snore

February 16

Why can't a leopard hide?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Because he is always spotted.

February 17

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Because it wasn't peeling well

February 18

Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Because it might crack up!

and dad added

because you always have to eggsplain it.

February 19

How did the dinosaurs know we were coming?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Because Bronto Saw Us

February 20

Where do triceratops sit?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

on their tricerabottoms!

February 21

What do you call a cow in the back yard?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A lawn Moo-er!

February 22

How do you stop a dinosaur from charging?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Take away its credit card

February 23

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A slow poke

February 24

Where did the cow go on the weekend?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The moooooovies

February 25

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Time to get a new fence.

February 26

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

DINOMITE!

February 27

Doctor, doctor! i swallowed a sheep.
How do you feel?
I feel baaaaad!

February 28

What do you call a sleeping bull?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A bulldozer

February 29

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

‘Pleased to eat you.’!

March 1

Why do sharks only swim in salt water?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

March 2

Why did the bird go to the hospital?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

He was in need of a tweetment.

March 3

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It was feeling crummy!

March 4


What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mooo-ve over.

March 5

What do you call a train that sneezes?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Achoo-choo train

March 6

What is more dangerous that pulling out a shark's tooth?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Giving a porcupine a back rub!

March 7

What happened to the leopard who took a bath three times a day?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

After a week, he was spotless!

March 8

This one is especially perfect for today. Sean --- Kaiser got skunked last night! He stinks!!!

He has to stay in the garage until he can have enough baths to smell normal!

Today's joke:

How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Plug his nose with a clothespin!

March 9

What do you give to an injured pig?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Oinkment !!!

March 10

Where can you leave your dog while you shop?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

In the barking lot

March 11

Why did Tigger stick his head in the loo?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

He was looking for Pooh

March 12

What's a cat's favorite color?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Purrrple

March 13

Why is a snake so smart?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Because you can't pull its leg

March 14

What do you say when you want your dinosaur to move faster?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Pronto - Saurus

March 15

What goes peck-bang, peck-bang, peck-bang?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A bunch of chickens in a yard full of balloons

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